Dear John,

I tried so hard to have an open relationship with you, but it's clear that you'll always be closed, inaccessible and challenging to communicate with.  Given those barriers, I consulted Vyatta and other Xen masters to help me bring my systems to a new virtual plane.  And it's good, John; it's a much better state than what I've achieved in my time with you.

Speaking of turning a new leaf, I've set out to better protect myself from breaches.  I've significantly increased security, so it will be harder to infiltrate my core.  Further, I have new and virtual ways to manage firewalls and other protection.

Perhaps more importantly, I need to think about my future, which means saving my money.  Before, I loved being able to use your name to impress people.  Now I realize that I was paying too much of my hard-earned money just to be in the same room with you.  I have better friends now, ones like Vyatta who appreciate that I'm trying to build something bigger than just infrastructure to support our relationship.

I hope you, too, will be able to find Xen one day.  In the meantime, I think it's best if you don't call.

May karma deliver your just desserts,

Virtual Bliss